Today, April 9, 2026, is the 104th anniversary of the birth of my mother, Claudia Louise Tarver. We call her Mabes, the nickname my brother Fred gave her when we were kids. My mother was an accomplished woman, but also engaging, loving, and funny. She came of age in Jim Crow Georgia, but she didn’t let the conditions there define her. As you can see by the picture below, taken after Mabes graduated nursing school in 1948, my mother was a beautiful woman. Just below that picture, you can see her diploma from the Grady Memorial Hospital Colored School of Nursing. That diploma is a sign of her perseverance and of the racism that would ultimately limit the heights to which she could rise.
After graduation, my mother went to work at Phoebe Hospital in Albany, Georgia. Phoebe was a segregated facility with separate wings for white and black patients. One night, my mother badly needed to pee, and she found herself adjacent to a bathroom on the “white” side of the hospital. She ducked in to relieve herself, and when she was spotted leaving the “white” bathroom, she was severely reprimanded. That incident is what propelled my parents, Fred and Louise Tarver, to leave Georgia and settle in Flint Michigan. Ultimately, Mabes became the assistant director of nursing at Flint’s Hurley Hospital – the first black nursing administrator in the entire city.
Fast-forward to 2007. Mabes was long retired. I moved back to Michgan from New Jersey so I could spend more quality time with her. In 2008, Kishna and I welcomed our daugher Nadiyah into the world, and Mabes was right there in the hospital to greet her last grandchild.
In 2012, we held a big 90th birthday celebration for Mabes at Walli’s East in Flint. I remember sitting with Mabes after the party, watching her cry. She wasn’t crying because of all she had accomplished, she told me. She was crying because she believed she could have done so much more if she had been born in a different time.
Fast-forward to August 2013. I’m sitting in the emergency room at Genesys Medical Center near Flint with Mabes and my brother Fred. Mabes had been experiencing some stroke-like symptoms. In a break between the medical testing and body scans, Mabes turned to me and said, “I just wanted to see Nadiyah graduate from high school.” That was the first sign that Mabes felt she wasn’t going to make it. A few days later, she lost the ability to speak. In another year, she was gone.
Nadiyah Louise Tarver, Detroit Country Day School Class of 2026—Mabes would be beaming with pride
I’ve been thinking about Mabes’ words alot as we approach Nadiyah’s graduation day. I wish so much that Mabes could have shared the last twelve years with us, to watch Nadiyah grow into a young woman, to feel the glow of family warmth and pride. To know that her last grandchild, like her other grandchildren, benefited from the struggle that she and other family members and their contemporaries endured. To know that in the Fall of 2026, her granddaugher, Nadiyah Louise Tarver, will attend Harvard University.
Young Nadiyah with Mabes and her accomplished siblings, Aaron and Stacy
10 thoughts on “My Mother’s Wish”
David this is wonderful. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story about a beautiful woman inside and outside who planted beautiful seeds that have grown into a spectacular garden of love, wonderful accomplishments and a family legacy that will endure the rest of time.
Thanks for sharing. The few times I was at your house I remember your mother as kind and welcoming. Wishing your mother a belated heavenly happy birthday.
Harold: Thank you so much. I miss those days back on the block, and especially the Motobecane vs. Schwinn Super Sport competition during our Ann Arbor days. Hope all is well with you and the family.
David I never had the pleasure of knowing your beloved mother but I know you. I’m old enough to know that character is something that develops in us based on many factors. One of those is the environment we grow up in.
Over the years I’ve read your essays about Mabes and your father. They show how you were nurtured and raised to be a man who lived his life with dignity, character and integrity. May the spirit and strength of your mother be the wind under Nadiyahs wings on Harvard yard.
I’m sure that on the occasion of your mother’s 100th birthday she’s looking down with pride. I celebrate her today for a job well done.
David, What a beautiful tribute for your beautiful mother. How blessed you were to have Mabes as your mother. Her smile is your smile. Her aspirations and strong will helped inform your own. Your memories of her are a blessing to you and will live on forever. I see her in you. Gretchen
David,
What a wonderful family you have! Congrats, Nadiyah ! We know that Harvard is lucky to have you! I am glad that you got to know your “ Matriarch “ “Mabes”. I am sure that she is beaming with pride looking down from above!
Love the love you had for your Mother and family . The struggles they experienced is why we have to keep on fighting in these times.
Great historical sketches of your mother. Happy heavenly Birthday to her. Her life was a study in greatness. I am fortunate to know your family. Thinking back on Flint it is great to reflect on her contributions
David such a beautiful tribute to Mrs. Tarver’s life. She was so kind and loving. My Mother has always commented on what an outstanding job you did in taking care of her and even doing good deeds for my Grandmother when they both were convalescing at Genesys extended care.
Mrs. Tarver and your sister Elizabeth took care of me while I worked at Mott College when pregnant with twins. Each day I had to take a nap during lunchtime in order to make it thru the day. Daily I would go to Health Services Center where they worked. Thanks for sharing. So happy to hear about Nadiyah’s future plans.
Dear David,
I am so honored to have known our beloved Mabes. I still have the card she gave me when I finished my undergrad. I still carry one of her very distinguished handbags. I had a love and joy for her. After being blessed to come through my struggles, I have her words of pride for me, I have part of her spirit of dignity to live by and with that I will carry and nurture those blessings always. Thanks David. What a beautiful family we still have. PEACE, LOVE AND RESPECT .